just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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