pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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