Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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