Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
