Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
