We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
