are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
