the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
