HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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