i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
