so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
