soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I deserve this hangover.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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