Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
