I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
