I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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