my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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