So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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