I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
