I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
