Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
