if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
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