Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
