I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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