How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
