I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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