I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize