I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
