pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
