Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
