i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
