He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
