Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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