we have officially lost it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
