how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
