i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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