Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
