I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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