I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize