did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
