I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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