Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
