real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
