i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
