Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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