He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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