I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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