I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize