I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
