I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
