For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
