Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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