Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
