the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We talked him into tasing himself.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
