Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
