Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
