My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
