Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize