My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
