My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
