I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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