At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
