Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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