i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
