Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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