no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
