Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
