wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
