So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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