There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
