There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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