At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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